H7 Story: Godly Community

What Does Godly Community Have to do With Healthy Marriages?
Written by Beth Anne Liebert

Mark Higgs isn’t alone when he says “I was very hesitant about going to re|engage because I tend to be a private person.” We hear it all the time and we get it. Honestly sharing our struggles and allowing people to speak into our marriage makes us feel vulnerable. It’s scary! So, why do it?

Because what better protection is there for your marriage or positive impact upon a recurring source of tension, sin struggle, disappointment, or unmet expectation you have with your spouse than if your brothers and sisters in Christ were praying for you (James 5:16), encouraging you and building you up (1 Thessalonians 5:11), stimulating you to love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24), holding you accountable and bearing your burdens (Galatians 6:1-2), and speaking the truth (Ephesians 4:25) you need to hear about God, yourself, your spouse, and your marriage?

Exactly. You’d have hope! You’d be encouraged to persevere.

Or maybe you’re seriously dating or engaged. What better way to gain confidence to move forward, preparing for more than your wedding day, than allowing godly mentor couples to know you and speak truth into your relationship, thus saving you struggles down the road?

And so, whether it’s in Merge, Foundation Group, or re|engage, the Marriage Ministry is structured around the premise that it’s within the context of authentic godly community that God’s Word and God’s Spirit works to develop God-honoring marriages.

 Michael and Kaitlin Schubert credit Merge with helping them recognize their negative communication patterns, which then helped them change their ways of thinking before, during, and after disagreements occurred. The mentoring relationship they enjoyed pointed them to Christ, as well as helped provide answers to many questions about life and what it looks like to have a godly marriage.

“Seeing that others were willing to share helped me to open up,” Katie Roberson told me about her experience in re|engage Summer Open Group. Hearing from others helped her know that her feelings weren’t silly but were actually quite common. Her husband, Matt, added that they “learned that having a community around you to learn and discuss marriage tips through God’s Word” was a meaningful and fun experience!

Amos Myers, who participated with his wife, Abby, realized “that we are all broken people, regardless of age, gender, or social status. We all need to be vulnerable,” he reflected, “in order to grow in our faith and marriage.” And Abby found that as the other couples trusted her with the intimate details of their marriage, she could be vulnerable and trust them with hers also. Knowing she and Amos were with others wanting to improve their marriages was encouraging and comforting.

Which brings us back to Mark Higgs, who, despite his hesitancy, came with his wife, Sonya, and “found such a welcoming and authentic atmosphere that I felt safe to share in our small group," he said. "Sonya and I have been married for 33 years and this is one of the best things we’ve done for our marriage!” Sonya agrees, telling me that as they worked through the program they “gained more spiritual and emotional depth in their conversations than ever before and were able to be vulnerable with each other in ways that have helped to bring healing to underlying wounds that were previously unknown.”

So what about you? In what ways do you need godly community to help you develop a healthy, God-honoring marriage?

Join us to find out! Re|engage begins Mon, Aug 7 and Merge on Thu, Aug 10. Register at fccgreene.org/marriage.