H7 Story: Finding Financial Peace
by Darrell Wright
Ask any marriage counselor, and there’s a good chance that finances would rank high on the list of potential stressors in a marriage. This was definitely the case in my marriage. My wife and I discussed the topic in our Merge sessions before we got married, and we both agreed that we were on opposite ends of the financial spectrum. Heather was a huge saver, and I was a huge spender.
While Merge helped us identify the differences in our financial habits, we weren’t as prepared as we thought for these differences. It didn’t take long after we were married for our individual financial habits to clash. We didn't immediately merge our bank accounts after we got married. It just wasn’t a top priority (especially based on our jobs and work situations). This created a marriage where neither one of us was truly accountable to the other for our financial decisions. I would spend “my money.” Heather would disapprove. I would get angry and defensive. Heather would get worried about me wasting money. The cycle would just repeat. No matter how much we tried to discuss finances, it didn't seem to change how we were managing those finances.
Recently FCC offered a Financial Peace University class. This class lays the entire foundation for handling money in the course of nine weeks. Let me just say that Heather was super excited, and I was a little more skeptical. FPU’s message is that money isn’t a math problem. It’s a behavior problem, and because I knew it was important to Heather, I agreed we could enroll. Each week we learned Biblically based “baby steps” to work towards Financial Peace. The coordinator for the class helps you work to change your habits so that you can transform your money and your future. Each week we learned Biblically based “baby steps” to work towards Financial Peace. The coordinator for the class and other members put their literal arms around you and provide you with the type of accountability you need to succeed.
The first week we were instructed to work on a budget. My first thought was “My budget is whatever I bring home.” I had never made a budget in my life. It was not easy. Heather and I had to sit down and discuss what we owed, what was important to us, and our long term goals. We didn’t get our budget perfect the first try. I think we both felt that there was no way we were going to be able to live off what we budgeted.
As the class progressed, Heather and I started becoming a “Team” working towards a common goal instead of two people handling their own finances independently. We opened a joint bank account which gave us accountability in our spending. We worked at keeping our budget and finding ways to cut spending. We utilized the steps to help us stay on track. We even used the steps to help resolve conflicts when we didn't agree on a financial decision.
Since completing the class, we have paid off both of our vehicles and are currently working towards being debt free (not counting our mortgage.) (The average FPU grad is debt-free in two years or less!) Our decision to participate in the class not only helped with our Financial Peace; it has also brought a new depth to our communication and teamwork in our marriage. My only regret is that we didn't do it sooner. It doesn't matter if you're single or married. It doesn't matter what age you are (but I would recommend starting ASAP). Our decision to participate in the class not only helped with our Financial Peace; it has also brought a new depth to our communication and teamwork in our marriage. My only regret is that we didn't do it sooner.
While Merge helped us identify the differences in our financial habits, we weren’t as prepared as we thought for these differences. It didn’t take long after we were married for our individual financial habits to clash. We didn't immediately merge our bank accounts after we got married. It just wasn’t a top priority (especially based on our jobs and work situations). This created a marriage where neither one of us was truly accountable to the other for our financial decisions. I would spend “my money.” Heather would disapprove. I would get angry and defensive. Heather would get worried about me wasting money. The cycle would just repeat. No matter how much we tried to discuss finances, it didn't seem to change how we were managing those finances.
Recently FCC offered a Financial Peace University class. This class lays the entire foundation for handling money in the course of nine weeks. Let me just say that Heather was super excited, and I was a little more skeptical. FPU’s message is that money isn’t a math problem. It’s a behavior problem, and because I knew it was important to Heather, I agreed we could enroll. Each week we learned Biblically based “baby steps” to work towards Financial Peace. The coordinator for the class helps you work to change your habits so that you can transform your money and your future. Each week we learned Biblically based “baby steps” to work towards Financial Peace. The coordinator for the class and other members put their literal arms around you and provide you with the type of accountability you need to succeed.
The first week we were instructed to work on a budget. My first thought was “My budget is whatever I bring home.” I had never made a budget in my life. It was not easy. Heather and I had to sit down and discuss what we owed, what was important to us, and our long term goals. We didn’t get our budget perfect the first try. I think we both felt that there was no way we were going to be able to live off what we budgeted.
As the class progressed, Heather and I started becoming a “Team” working towards a common goal instead of two people handling their own finances independently. We opened a joint bank account which gave us accountability in our spending. We worked at keeping our budget and finding ways to cut spending. We utilized the steps to help us stay on track. We even used the steps to help resolve conflicts when we didn't agree on a financial decision.
Since completing the class, we have paid off both of our vehicles and are currently working towards being debt free (not counting our mortgage.) (The average FPU grad is debt-free in two years or less!) Our decision to participate in the class not only helped with our Financial Peace; it has also brought a new depth to our communication and teamwork in our marriage. My only regret is that we didn't do it sooner. It doesn't matter if you're single or married. It doesn't matter what age you are (but I would recommend starting ASAP). Our decision to participate in the class not only helped with our Financial Peace; it has also brought a new depth to our communication and teamwork in our marriage. My only regret is that we didn't do it sooner.
Posted in Tell the Story