“Why Don’t We Highlight Things Like Deaths, Holidays, Birthdays, or National Events in Our Worship Services?”

“Why Don’t We Highlight Things Like Deaths, Holidays, Birthdays, or National Events in Our Worship Services?”
By Scott Wakefield, Lead Pastor

Theological Foundation: Worship Is About God, Not Man
The gathered worship of the church, in its purpose and practice, is not about us, but about God. Scripture is clear that worship belongs to Him alone. The first of the 10 Commandments is clear: “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3). Psalm 95:6 proclaims, “Oh come, let us worship and bow down; let us kneel before the Lord, our Maker!” Jesus reminds us in John 4:24 that worship must be “in spirit and truth”—that is, directed by God’s Spirit and according to God’s truth, not shaped by human preferences or memorials. The heavenly chorus in Revelation 4:11 declares God’s worthiness, not man’s. While we rightly grieve those we love, celebrate family and civic blessings and memorials, and grieve at national events, the Lord’s Day service is not the place where human remembrance becomes a focus. Worship is God-centered, not man-centered.

Pastoral Reality: The Gathering Is for Edification by the Word
The apostle Paul describes the church’s gathering in 1 Corinthians 14:26 as a time when “all things [are] done for building up.” But this “building up” is a specific type of biblically-commanded edification of the body through the Word, prayer, and song. It is not meant to be a platform for announcements, personal memorials, cultural observances, or even many events of national significance. Romans 12:15 commands us to “weep with those who weep,” but that is a call to pastoral care, personal ministry, and funerals, not the central act of Sunday worship. A funeral service rightly magnifies God by reflecting on His grace in the life of a saint. But the Lord’s Day is for the ordinary means of grace given to the whole body.

This same principle explains why we also do not theme our services around civil, cultural, or political holidays or events. Our worship service is not primarily about America, family, or even parenthood—it is about Christ crucified and risen. While we can and should thank God for fathers and mothers, veterans and civic blessings, these do not define the church’s gathered worship. To fly an American flag or to make Father’s Day or Veteran’s Day the focus of the service would subtly shift the center of gravity from Christ to culture. Jesus calls His church to gather in His name (Matthew 18:20), and the apostles patterned the church’s worship “on the first day of the week” (Acts 20:7) in remembrance of His resurrection—not in remembrance of national or cultural events.

Ecclesiological Principle: The Complexity of Multisite Ministry
In a church with three campuses, the challenge only multiplies. To recognize every death or holiday during worship would require continual explanation across all campuses, often privileging one campus’s experiences above another’s. This risks disunity, confusion, and imbalance. Paul’s principle in 1 Corinthians 14:40 applies here: “All things should be done decently and in order.” To remain orderly, a church like ours must shepherd grieving families consistently in pastoral settings, and encourage thanksgiving for civic or cultural blessings outside of the Lord’s Day service, rather than with inconsistent public mentions that cannot be sustained.

Gospel Priority: Christ’s Victory, Not Death’s Sadness
The gospel transforms our view of death. Paul tells us not to “grieve as others do who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13), because death itself has been “swallowed up in victory” (1 Corinthians 15:54). For the believer, “to live is Christ, and to die is gain” (Philippians 1:21). This does not diminish grief, but it does reframe it—and our worship is intended to reflect that. The church gathered on “the first day of the week” (John 20:19; Acts 20:7; Revelation 1:10) precisely because it is the day of resurrection. Likewise, Sunday worship is not the time to highlight national identity or cultural holidays, but to proclaim Christ’s triumph over sin, death, and the grave. Funerals exist to honor the dead, holidays exist to celebrate civic blessings, and family milestones like birthdays can be acknowledged in small gatherings—but the worship service, by contrast, is a weekly rehearsal of Christ’s victory and should be maintained as such.

The Regulative Principle: A Historical and Theological Safeguard
The Protestant tradition has long guarded corporate worship from distractions that dilute the ministry of Word and Sacrament. The Regulative Principle of Worship insists that what God commands in worship—preaching, prayer, song, ordinances—is sufficient, and that we must not import practices that shift the focus from God to man. Whether it be celebrating birthdays, memorializing deaths, draping services in patriotic symbols, or centering the service around cultural holidays, such practices risk reshaping worship into something anthropocentric. So much of life is already so bent on us; the worship service must be kept pure in its focus on Christ alone.

Practical Wisdom for Pastoral Care
None of this means we ignore grief, civic blessings, or family life. Quite the opposite. We rejoice in fathers and mothers, we give thanks for veterans, and we praise God for the blessings of this country. We also walk with the grieving, visiting them, comforting them, and surrounding them in pastoral care. We simply keep these recognitions in their proper place:

• Funerals to honor the dead and proclaim the hope of resurrection.
• Small groups and personal relationships to surround the grieving with love.
• Family gatherings to celebrate parents and birthdays.
• Civic or community events (outside Sunday worship) to give thanks for veterans and national blessings, as well as to grieve tragedy.

In this way, our care remains personal and pastoral, our gratitude remains real, and our Sunday gatherings remain focused on what the entire body needs most: Christ and His Word.

Conclusion: Christ at the Center
To not make a big deal of deaths, holidays, or patriotic symbols in the worship service is not cold or indifferent. It is a principled, biblical, and pastoral decision. Worship belongs to God alone, and must remain centered on His glory and His gospel. At the same time, the church rightly provides care, thanksgiving, support for grieving families and for civic blessings outside the worship service, where they can be most personally and appropriately honored. In doing this, we honor both God’s design for worship and God’s call to love His people.

Footnotes:
*Footnote Note: The numbered link that got you here only gets you here. I.e., you may have to scroll down to find the note you're looking for and you'll definitely have to scroll all the way back up to get back to where you came from. Also, our blog site doesn't yet format correctly, so some things like bullets, numbers, line spacing, and superscripts may be wonky.

¹ For more re the “regulative principle of worship,” see “Christ-Centered Worship,” mark #3 in this Great Questions Answered post called “What Should I Look For in a Church and When Should I Leave One?” (Still unposted as of Sun, Sep 14, 2025, but will be soon.)

² The only exception we currently make—because we’ve decided it’s an easy win and we have the margin to support doing so—is to celebrate new babies born to our families in our weekly Pulse videos and to briefly “dedicate parents” at the end of our worship services.